flail and fail

I do not recognize

or am unfamiliar with this self (like a distant cousin; once met years ago)

and these thoughts

all despair and {death}.

unbidden, they come bringing a {counterfeit} comfort

     a closed-eyed jump

     a quiet slice

               {release}

     from hope

     damage, trickery, vetting

     the repetition of one minute

and the next.